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When will my life begin?

  • Posted on May 31, 2011 at 7:16 pm

Is this a common thought for you? Are you still waiting?

My counter-question to you is, when will you take responsibility for being the driver of your life?

We all have the ability to carve out the nature of our lives. We are the producers, directors, script-writers, and stars of our own life story. If we don’t like the way our life is going, it is our own responsibility to re-write the script.

When did you last take time out to review your script? Does it still fit the person you now are? Does it still excite you? Is it time to change, to write a new script?

The first step to making a life change, is to identify your new direction. Start with the end in mind. If you don’t know where you want to end up, its mighty hard to take steps in the right direction. And if you are not navigating the direction of your life, then who is doing it for you? Who are you giving your power away to?

In reality, your life is well underway and you are truly participating. In fact, you are contributing to yours and many other people’s lives every day. When you interact with a shop assistant, a family member, a teacher, an employer, a customer, anyone, you have the opportunity to demonstrate the person you are choosing to become. You have the opportunity to influence every person you interact with, to brighten their day, and to also make them feel noticed and important. And as you do this to others, you will soon discover that it is in your own life where the benefits are.

Mother Teresa said “Kind words can be short and easy to speak, but their echoes are truly endless.”

If you would like to share your new life-script, or any thoughts you may have, I would love to receive a comment from you!

With love to you, may you be consciously creating your life,
Amanda

Break the Low Self-Esteem Habit

  • Posted on May 31, 2011 at 7:33 am

I just found this article, and was impressed with how well it linked in my previous blog post. So I am adding it here for you to review as well. Thanks to Joseph Liberti for explaining this topic so eloquently!


Low self-esteem is not a defect, it is a habit – and it is a habit that you can break!

“I thought that feeling inadequate not having self-confidence was just my personality and I was stuck with it,” she said, “and now I know better.”

One of my coaching clients was talking about low self-esteem and self-confidence and like so many others she had believed there was something basically wrong with her and she was stuck with it. Not true!

Low self-esteem is a habit – a habit of feeling and thinking that causes you to treat yourself as inferior.

How You Treat Yourself Is A Choice
Hear this: How you treat yourself is a choice. You could choose to treat yourself with respect and give yourself understanding and love. Or you could choose to criticize yourself, reject yourself and treat yourself with contempt.

“It’s not that easy,” you say? I understand. The problem is that when you are caught in a low self-esteem habit you do not think about how you are choosing to treat yourself, you react automatically with a “survival strategy” – a behavior you developed to cope with your world.

Your Outdated Survival Strategy
For example: Perhaps, as child, there was a time when you told yourself a convenient lie. You thought someone was rejecting you and that seemed painful to you. In an attempt to dull the pain you blamed yourself and told yourself you were bad. Each time you encountered a similar experience you reused the same strategy until it became habit. At one time it may have been a useful strategy but it no longer serves you.

Learning A New Habit
Now, if you are ready to, you can unlearn that habit of self-depreciation and form a new relationship with yourself – a relationship in which you choose to regard yourself as worthy of love, respect and happiness How? Through a combination of awareness, self-management and purposeful action. Become aware of the thoughts and feelings that motivate your actions. Develop the skill of managing your emotions and make new choices.

Change Your Relationship With You
Your self-esteem is not dependent on what others think of you, or what you own or what you have achieved so far. Your self-esteem is the result of the relationship you choose to have with yourself. Choose to create a new relationship with yourself and regard yourself as your own best friend and your self-esteem and self-confidence will flourish.

Get My Blue Paper
To more fully understand how to make the shift to self-esteem and self-confidence, click here to download my blue paper Liberate The Power of True You.

Joseph Liberti

Copyright 2009 Joseph Liberti, Author of Yes You Can: Boost self-confidence, manage emotions, improve decisions, overcome challenges and be happy, or how to enjoy life using emotional intelligence and authenticity.

What are you creating?

  • Posted on May 30, 2011 at 7:32 am

William Arthur Ward said “Our words reveal our thoughts; our manners mirror our self-esteem; our actions reflect our character; our habits predict our future”.

What habits do you routinely enact? Are they supportive to the person you are choosing to be?

Habits are powerful. Every action, in every moment, is creating our future. The more consciously we choose our actions, the more consciously we navigate the experiences of our lives towards the outcomes we desire.

Are there some non-supportive habits that you would like to move on from? Are they being kept in place as a result of old emotions; memories of past experiences? The first step to making a change is becoming aware of the habits that are holding you back, and the reasons you have been telling yourself why these behaviours are necessary. Examine these thoughts. Are they still real? Have you grown and learnt more than when this pattern was put into place? Are you ready to let this part of you go to become a greater version of yourself? Are you ready to shine?

Sometimes this process can be difficult to do on our own. This is where a life coach, or other supportive friend or family member can be invaluable. Speak with them about the type of person you would like to become. Make sure it is realistic. And then empower them to hold that vision for you until you achieve it. Their job is to remind you of what you are capable of, especially in those times when you cannot see that possibility for yourself. Their job is to help you to believe in yourself.

As a practitioner of The LifeLine Technique I have helped many people overcome non-supportive habits, and empowered them to take greater creative control over their life. I believe it is possible for every person to change and grow, and expand the potential of their life, especially when they are surrounded by supportive people.

If you have a habit that you would like to share, please leave me a comment!
With infinite love & gratitude to creating supportive habits for us all…

Becoming my own cheerleader

  • Posted on May 28, 2011 at 7:31 am

Do you seek validation from others?

Do you change who you are to try and make others like you?

Do you ever feel ‘not good enough’ when comparing yourself with others?

Believe me, I can relate. Growing up I was a high-achiever. Awards, recognition, top marks, were a normal part of my life. I worked hard, and enjoyed the accolades.

But the awards and results weren’t enough. Underneath, I still carried a feeling of not being ‘good enough’. I felt that I had to earn love, and prove my worthiness. When receiving an award I would feel validated, that my existence was indeed worthwhile. And then the feeling would pass. I would be driven to do it again, find another project to ace, find another group of friends to impress. I had low self-esteem.

I was not aware that this was my behavioural pattern, until having been a full-time Mum for a number of years. As a Mum I felt isolated from the rest of the working world. I was the first of my generation of family and friends to have children, and felt left-out, almost abandoned. My self-respect suffered. As I was not earning any money, I felt my role in life was diminished, and my personal power had been withdrawn. I was in a downward spiral, my relationship with my husband and myself suffered. I was not able to love myself and felt that I was no longer receiving the love from my husband that I thought I needed from him. This was a low point in my life.

And then I started martial arts. I discovered that I did indeed still have some power, the ability to learn, and the opportunity to make friends. The only problem was that I was still looking for validation outside of myself. One of the high-ranking students in our club gave me positive feedback about my progress, which I viewed as affection. I became addicted to his positive comments, and secretly yearned for his feedback. I was having a mental affair with this training partner, though I had barely spoken with him in real life. I still loved my husband, and felt guilty for having thoughts about another man. But it felt so good to think that someone saw good in me, so I indulged in these thoughts for almost 10 months. Unfortunately the guilt that I was carrying was building up over this time, and eventually presented itself physically as mid-cycle bleeding.

It was then that my soul decided it was time for me to awaken spiritually. My husband and I attended a personal development workshop, and our minds were expanded. We learnt that our thoughts create the experience of our life, and that the physical happenings in our life were directly related to our thoughts and feelings. I realised that my guilt was creating the bleeding! What a shock!

I also realised that I was looking for validation from others. And that it was time to change. I needed to be my own cheerleader…

Over the past 5 years I have taken a new path and am indeed living into that desire of being my own cheerleader. I have an affirmation that I read every morning. It says:

I am inspiring, enchanting, loving and creative.

I know that this is the type of person I choose to be, and now make decisions based on their alignment to this statement. I have consciously surrounded myself with people who will assist me in maintaining this direction in my life, and who can help me stay on track when I occasionally forget my own value.

What do you do to be your own cheerleader? I would love for you to leave me a comment with your thoughts and ideas!

With infinite love & gratitude,

Amanda

Just what is, a Miracle???

  • Posted on May 27, 2011 at 7:30 am

With a blog dedicated to miracles, I thought I should first define just what constitutes a miracle.

Here is what Google Dictionary returned:

mir·a·cle

noun /ˈmirikəl/
miracles, plural

  • A surprising and welcome event that is not explicable by natural or scientific laws and is therefore considered to be the work of a divine agency
    • – the miracle of rising from the grave
  • A highly improbable or extraordinary event, development, or accomplishment that brings very welcome consequences
    • – it was a miracle that more people hadn’t been killed or injured
    • – a miracle drug
  • An amazing product or achievement, or an outstanding example of something
    • – a machine which was a miracle of design
The free dictionary lists a miracle as:

miracle [ˈmɪrəkəl]

n

1. (Christianity / Ecclesiastical Terms) an event that is contrary to the established laws of nature and attributed to a supernatural cause
2. any amazing or wonderful event
3. a person or thing that is a marvellous example of something the bridge was a miracle of engineering
4. (Performing Arts / Theatre) short for miracle play
5. (modifier)being or seeming a miracle a miracle cure

[from Latin mīrāculum, from mīrārī to wonder at]

Collins English Dictionary – Complete and Unabridged © HarperCollins Publishers 1991, 1994, 1998, 2000, 2003

My own definition would be:
Miracle – An event or circumstance that is unexpected, unexplainable, and generates a feeling of awe, wonder and gratitude.
It is with this definition that I aim to report on the miracles that I become aware of in my life and in the lives of those around me.
I would love to hear your definition for what constitutes a miracle, and invite you to post a comment with your thoughts.
With infinite love & gratitude for the experience of miracles in our lives. 🙂

Seeing past the behaviour

  • Posted on May 26, 2011 at 7:28 am

Do, or do not, press charges, that is the question…

A friend of mine has an interesting dilemma. His single-mother neighbour recently broke into his home, stealing his TV and a number of other items while he was away. This was not the first time. And to add to the scenario, she was goaded on by her own gambling-addicted mother.

My friend, who always likes to see the best in people, is eager to forgive her. The advice that all of his friends and advisers have given, is to press charges. My friend is concerned about the long-term nature of their relationship, and would like to drop the charges, but feels uncomfortable doing so.

This got me thinking. Is pressing charges an act of love? Or should he simply forgive and forget?

I believe, in this scenario, that the most loving act is to press charges. I know that underneath this lady’s behaviour is a heart yearning for acceptance. It was her desire to receive her mother’s love that prevented her from being able to make a different choice. Being brought to justice will hopefully raise her awareness to her actions, and encourage her to make new choices. And maybe even teach her own mother and daughter that there is a different way to live.

Ultimately I hope that this single mother receives the benefit of some counselling, and learns to teach her daughter a different way, a better way, a more responsible way. I hope that she becomes the point of change in her family line. I see her poor behaviour as a cry for help, and I pray that the help she needs, she receives.

If I had the chance to meet her, my number one piece of advice would be to “treat others as you wish to be treated”.

I would love to hear your perspective too. Please leave me a comment, and broaden my thinking.

With infinite love & gratitude,

Amanda

Our Deepest Fear, by Marianne Williamson

  • Posted on May 25, 2011 at 7:22 am

One of my favourite passages of all time, is the following, written by Marianne Williamson. I hope you enjoy it, and that it resonates as well with you as it has with me. Wishing you blessings, and a life of infinite love and gratitude, Amanda

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”

Here are some details about the book within which this piece was written:
A Return to Love: Reflections on the Principles of “A Course in Miracles”