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Seeing past the behaviour

  • Posted on May 26, 2011 at 7:28 am

Do, or do not, press charges, that is the question…

A friend of mine has an interesting dilemma. His single-mother neighbour recently broke into his home, stealing his TV and a number of other items while he was away. This was not the first time. And to add to the scenario, she was goaded on by her own gambling-addicted mother.

My friend, who always likes to see the best in people, is eager to forgive her. The advice that all of his friends and advisers have given, is to press charges. My friend is concerned about the long-term nature of their relationship, and would like to drop the charges, but feels uncomfortable doing so.

This got me thinking. Is pressing charges an act of love? Or should he simply forgive and forget?

I believe, in this scenario, that the most loving act is to press charges. I know that underneath this lady’s behaviour is a heart yearning for acceptance. It was her desire to receive her mother’s love that prevented her from being able to make a different choice. Being brought to justice will hopefully raise her awareness to her actions, and encourage her to make new choices. And maybe even teach her own mother and daughter that there is a different way to live.

Ultimately I hope that this single mother receives the benefit of some counselling, and learns to teach her daughter a different way, a better way, a more responsible way. I hope that she becomes the point of change in her family line. I see her poor behaviour as a cry for help, and I pray that the help she needs, she receives.

If I had the chance to meet her, my number one piece of advice would be to “treat others as you wish to be treated”.

I would love to hear your perspective too. Please leave me a comment, and broaden my thinking.

With infinite love & gratitude,

Amanda